Salute! Peccato per chi non sa leggere l'italiano.

What do you get the man who has everything?

I thought long and hard about what to get Joe for his 80th birthday, really about what to get anyone for their 80th birthday. Maybe a box of fine cigars, or a box of vintage wine? Or maybe a gift card that says, “I know where you like to shop, so here’s some money you can only use there”.

I guess I figured that by the time you reach your eighth decade you would have acquired everything you ever wanted, whether through hard work, outliving rich relatives, or simply treachery. Surely there is no gadget, gizmo, gift basket or tangible “thing” a man of 80 could want.

But what about something “intangible”. As ephemeral, and yet viscerally real, as a shared memory, a favorite story, or a long-forgotten snapshot. Or better yet a place for all of these things to live together and interconnect - to reflect the true scope and breadth of 80 years well spent, with room left for 80 more to come (a little less for smokers). Preserved, pixel-perfect, forever (or until the web-hosting subscription price increases, whichever comes first).

To understand Joe is to see his 80 years reflected through the many lives he has touched, as father, friend, husband, brother, son, leader, innovator, host and raconteur. So, my gift to Joe is to curate this celebratory website, a task lightened by my many biomass collaborators and the joyful subject matter. Salute Joe!

Joe80.com Origin Story

I had been experimenting with 3D printing, and I realized that my initial present for Joe – a plaque with a silhouette of Joe above his name, reminded me of something when I looked at it? But by this point I had already invested 40 minutes and about a buck-fifty in green filament. What if I just turned this plaque into an announcement poster for his birthday website – surely that would make it less tombstone-like?

Before I could consider the consequences of my actions, I announced my intentions via text to Joe’s immediates – otherwise known as the Biomass. I’ve never actually built a website before, but how hard could it be?

So, I took on the building of the site and enlisted the Biomass for personal content. As you know, the Biomass are super-smart people - advanced degrees, healthcare, lawyers, yadda yadda. We set forth together in earnest, and as the saying goes, “nothing makes a process go faster than people who are used to billing by the hour”.

It takes a village to accomplish great things. A community of diverse skills and perspectives coming together to make something more than the sum of its parts. Of course, the Salem Witch Trials were also a community effort but that’s beside the point. The Biomass is my village, and I stand by their work.

I would like to give a shout out to two members of the Biomass for their special contributions. Oscar and Nina contributed deep cut stories and magical photos that really brought the site together.

The original names for the site, and ones we still own, were “genius-joe.com” and the Italian spelling “geniojoe.com”. The origin of this is not specifically Joe’s intellect, although I’m sure he’s been tested and ticks the box. No, “genius” actually refers to the level Joe reaches on the New York Times “Spelling Bee” puzzle every morning. An accomplishment that regular players, Sandy, Gina and myself, are rarely able to match. That’s the genius of Joe, his ability to consistently deliver the goods.

I ultimately went with joe80 over genius-joe because the hyphen wasn’t intuitive and because Joe probably wouldn’t want to sound braggy. While many other folks have sung Joe’s praises, I’ve never once heard him brag (which I think is a real missed opportunity for him). Anyway, the consequence of my flip flop on the name is that I messed up the SEO which makes the site findable on Google search. I can fix that but it’s a hassle. For now, let’s just think of the site as an invitation-only experience. Or as lazy programmers say, “it’s a feature not a bug”.

Anyway, I have to say that I got a lot out of the experience of building the site. The opportunity to honor a man who I love and respect. The chance to exchange stories and photos with family and friends. But far and away what I received most from this experience was malware.

Many, really nasty, horrible computer viruses – the full spectrum: worms, trojans, stuxnet, netsky, conflicker, slammer, creeper, kournikova. Really, people? I know that cats are cute but don’t open every attachment.

Wrapping Up

This site is just a small expression of my deep affection for Joe. What I love about Joe is that I don’t have to prove anything to him. Joe meets people where they are. He doesn’t try to change them or conform them to his world view. He is genuinely accepting and interested in who they are, as they are.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t disagree, get frustrated, or on occasion be short-tempered – I’m sure the name “Saint Joe” is already taken anyway. As a music lover, Joe knows that a symphony that only hits high notes is as boring as one that hits only lows. Joe is inarguably human. Just one who’s touched more people in a special way than most (I’m sure there’s a better way to word that).

We love you Joe. Happy birthday.

Chris

PS: I’ve already got some ideas for joe90.com, so keep on discovering new things to be passionate about and we’ll meet back here in 2035